Balance Between Progression and Ego

October 8, 2015

I have been working on striking a balance between progression and my ego. For many years I would go to yoga classes and be the most advanced person in the class. I remember I used to tell my mom I was more flexible than the people in the yoga videos I was practicing along with. My mom would say, "that's because you're a teenager, you'll see when you get older." I've finally understood what she meant. When I was in my teens and early 20s, it was easy to perform many asanas. As I've aged, things that came easily to me, now required months if not years of practice. I've had to adjust to new limitations that I didn't have before. I've overstretched thinking I could go as deeply in a pose as I did in my younger years. I've allowed my ego and expectations to influence my yoga practice. I know that being able to do an advanced pose doesn't make me "good at yoga", there's no such thing. In the past, I placed a lot of importance on how many advanced postures I could do. I was prideful about my level of advancement in asanas compared to others. When teachers complimented someone else in class on their beautiful pose, I felt disappointed I wasn't being praised.

Studying Ayurveda has given me a whole new understanding of the purpose of my yoga practice. My fiery pitta dosha is prone to this sense of achievement and competition. Really examining that side of myself and working on combating impulses, led me to a deeper practice. I've approached advanced poses, not from a place of competition with myself, but from a place of exploration, possibility and focus. I've placed more emphasis on my prana rather than sacrificing my breath to achieve some deeper version of a pose. I've worked to calm my mind on and off my mat with the help of meditation. I still slip into old habits from time-to-time but the awareness is there. And I'm actively working on being more mindful in my yoga and my life.