Stop Planning and Live in the Present
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October 16, 2015
Yoga Pose = Ardha Matsyendrasana or Half Lord of the Fishes Pose
Ardha = half
Matsya = fish
Indra = ruler
Today was definitely harder to calm my monkey mind in meditation. I used my sandalwood and citrine mala beads and the "so hum" mantra. I am always planning in my head, planning my day, planning my meals, planning planning planning. It's hard for me to turn that off. Today's meditation was no different. But when my mind wandered I refocused on "so hum" and my breath and it brought me back. I tried to turn off the thoughts of plans.
Planning takes me out of the present, because I'm concerned with what's going to happen in the future. It's hard for me to fly blind so to speak. I need more freedom and spontaneity in my life. It's hard for me to live in the uncertainty. I know I learned this from my parents who plan everything down to the tiniest detail. Then I met my husband and his family. They are the complete opposite. It's been eye opening to see things from a different perspective and have to live outside my comfort zone. It's taken a lot of adjusting and I'm certainly not there yet. But I'm trying.
I was feeling down last week and I said to my husband that I felt like a bad person. He said to me that just the mere fact that I'm worried I might be a bad person means that I couldn't be. I know that I'm not a bad person deep down but I feel bad when I make a mistake or act angry or irritable. I'm going to make mistakes though and if I beat myself up every time I make a mistake in just directing that anger inward. I need to dissolve the anger not transfer it. We're all works-in-progress. I'm on a journey and I can forget that this is all a part of the process. The journey is the point not the destination.
“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.”