After my weekly radio show, I’m thinking, “I hope I did a good job.” There’s often these moments I get stuck on like how I mispronounced something or wasn’t quick draw McGraw on my transitions, or how I stumbled over words and sounded silly. Every week I’m overly critiquing myself. And unlike most things, there isn’t a way to look back. But with my radio show, there actually is. There’s an archive of the show that lives for a week on Asheville FM.
I’ve been listening to my shows in the archive, preparing to cringe over mishaps and armed to critique each moment. But then I listen. I hear how it actually sounded over the airwaves. And I realize, “Damn, Marissa! You’re an awesome DJ.” Yep. I said it. I’m an awesome DJ. I might sound like a conceited, but I don’t care. I’m proud of myself. It’s hard for me to proud of myself. It’s hard for most of us to be proud of ourselves. And I’m not perfect, I mess up lots of things. We all do. But we’re all good at something and we shouldn’t be afraid to give ourselves props when props are due.
Who cares if anyone thinks so (but chances are, someone else does). I put effort, time, and work into what I do. And you do too. Be it your music, your art, your parenting, your work, your relationships. There’s some aspect of your life where you’re slaying it. So say it loud and say it proud. Tell yourself you’re awesome. Think of at least one thing, and I bet with time you’ll think of two things and then three things and then infinite things.
It’s easier to critique than to praise. I fall victim to that a lot. But I want to praise. Praising others makes makes it easier to praise myself. And praising myself makes it easier to praise others. Having that archive to listen to is a blessing in disguise. I listen to it prepared to hear each way I messed up and instead I’m proud of how well it went. It’s teaching me to stop wasting time on negative self-thinking and worrying. There are much better ways to spend my time.
Thank you to Hilary Bovay Photography for the photo and for The She League for including me in their awesome space dedicated to supporting women. Check out the article they wrote about my radio show “Not Your Mother’s Tongue.”